Note: Some of the events in this story take place at different times on the show. I’ve manipulated parts that I like and work them accordingly to my story. Some parts of this chapter came from the episode 'Desire' in season three.
Disclaimer: Really broke college student. Grey’s Anatomy and its awesome characters belong to the wonderful Shonda Rhimes and to ABC. I only borrow the characters for fun and own nothing. This story is merely for entertainment purposes and to satisfy my own craving at attempting to write a McStizzie story. That is all.
Writing is always a learning process for me, so if anyone notices mistakes or anything that doesn’t make sense, please feel free to tell me!
Izzie woke up feeling exhausted even though she had gotten plenty of sleep. Sitting up slowly, she noticed that she was dressed in her clothes from the night before and quickly concluded that she must’ve fallen asleep while she had been crying. Stretching her arms and letting out a yawn, the blonde intern swung her legs over her bed and quickly began gathering the things that she would need that day.
She moved around her room quietly, feeling a little more optimistic than the day before. Today was the first day that she would attempt to change her life for the better before it could get any worse. She wanted to be able to look in the mirror again and like the person that was reflected back to her. Deciding to take a shower at the hospital, she packed a change of clothes into her day bag before changing out of the clothes that she was wearing and into black sweat pants and a grey sweater. She quickly threw her hair up into a messy bun and then quietly unlocked her door and pulled it open slowly.
The house was dark and eerily quiet as she moved as silently as she could towards the kitchen. She quickly made herself a sandwich for lunch and packed a few of the cookies she had baked two days ago for comfort. She grabbed two bottles of water, sliding them into her bag along with her lunch before picking up her keys and slipping out the front door with her jacket tucked over her arm. She let out a sigh of relief as she made her way down the driveway to her car. She had managed to leave the house without running into anyone. At the moment, Izzie figured that time away from her friends couldn’t hurt so she would do her best to stay out of their way.
Forty-five minutes later, Izzie had showered and was dressed in her scrubs, ready to begin her day. She walked down the hallway towards the nurses’ station and just as she turned the corner, she ran into none other than one George O’Malley. It was an awkward moment and Izzie felt hurt wash over her when George refused to look at her. Luckily, she didn’t have time to dwell on it as Bailey had chosen that exact moment to make her appearance.
“Stevens! O’Malley! Are you coming to get your assignments or what? Hurry up, I don’t have all day!”
George abruptly kept walking, leaving Izzie no choice but to follow. She could tell that their little run-in had caused George to be all tense because he was walking with his back and shoulders straight. Would things ever be the same again? She hoped that eventually they would be. She came to a stop in front of the nurses’ desk and by this time, Alex, Cristina and Meredith were there as well. As expected, Meredith and Alex didn’t spare her a glance but Cristina gave her a sort of nod, which Izzie took to be a good sign. Now she could only pray that she would get to assist anyone but Callie.
“Karev, Montgomery. Yang, Shepherd. O’Malley, Sloan. Stevens, Burke. Grey, Torres-O’Malley. Stevens, don’t forget that you are to observe procedures only. You all have your assignments, now disperse!” Bailey’s sharp voice left no room for argument.
Izzie let out a sigh of relief, knowing that she didn’t have to be paired up with Callie. She didn’t think she could handle all the death glares from the orthopedic surgeon all day. Thank you Dr. Bailey! No torture for me today! Dr. Burke was nice and didn't care about her sleeping with George. Working with him wouldn't be a problem at all, even if all she could do was watch.
Hurdle number one had been avoided momentarily but she knew the day was far from over.
The morning passed by relatively slow for Izzie. More than once, she had run into her fellow interns but each time, they given her the brush off and eventually she gave up trying altogether and began avoiding them. It wasn’t until it was near lunchtime when she ran into Cristina in the locker room that her day improved a bit. She was a tad annoyed that Cristina had looked around to see if anyone was around first but quickly let it go as it was nice to finally have someone to talk too.
“I’m not mad at you,” Cristina said, her tone was unusually soft and completely different from her everyday attitude. “It seems as if everyone is a little high strung right now, but I’m not going to get involved because simply put, I don’t really care about the affair you had with Bambi. You made a mistake, everyone else should just realize it and let it go – or at the very least, they should be giving George hell too.”
“Thanks Cristina,” the blonde replied quietly, smiling at her. Izzie moved to give her friend a hug but Cristina held up her hands.
“I don’t do hugs,” she shook her head. “I’ve gotta go. Shepherd’s got a surgery in a half hour and I’ve got to go prep. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.” Izzie gave a slight wave as Cristina left the locker room. She turned back to her locker and grabbed her lunch, before shutting her locker door and heading out to find a place to eat. She avoided the cafeteria at all costs and instead decided to find an area where she could eat alone.
She ended up outside at the hospital’s small abandoned observatory. She knew that this was a place was intended to be a garden for visitors of the hospital someday but so far it looked like Dr. Webber hadn’t found the time for construction plans. Even though it was bare and looked lifeless, it was void of people and that was just what she was hoping for. Sitting down on the abandoned bench, Izzie opened her lunch and began to eat her sandwich, all the while trying to ignore loneliness that was creeping up on her.
Seattle Grace Hospital was buzzing with activity by the time Mark arrived at work that morning. As he always did, he headed straight for the elevators with the intention of keeping himself as busy as possible that day. All night long, Mark had contemplated on what to do on the situation with Addison and as a result he had tossed and turned, barely getting any sleep. Finally, at four in the morning he had come to the conclusion that there was nothing else to do but tell Addison that their pact was off and that she could do whatever she wanted. He refused to let himself be strung along while she was getting frisky with Karev – his pride wouldn’t let him succumb to that.
Telling himself to move on was one thing but actually going through with it was another thing altogether. For most of his life, Mark had been selfish although he preferred to think of it as ‘going after what he wanted.’ He had never done anything for another person but he supposed telling Addison that their pact was off was as good of a place as any to start.
That’s how long he had gone without sex. Even to him, that was an amazing thing. At first he had gone crazy with frustration but as time went on, he began to notice more and more the emptiness within him. And as more time went on, he had begun to look forward to a possible happy life with Addison. He clung desperately to the idea of a relationship with her because he had wanted it to be true. He wanted a chance to remember birthdays, celebrate anniversaries, have lazy Saturday morning lie-ins and… maybe even hear the sound of children’s footsteps running around someday.
His mood slowly darkened at the thought.
That would never happen now.
The light above the elevator lit up and the doors slid open and Mark stepped inside, relieved that for once it was empty. His luck didn’t last long though because at the next floor, the doors opened to reveal Addison and he felt his anxiety rise. He noticed that the moment Addison’s eyes had landed on him, they didn’t brighten. He may not be an expert at relationships, but he knew that seeing someone you cared about always brightened your day.
Apparently, he didn’t brighten hers – that fact couldn’t be any clearer. Well, now was as good a time as any. Might as well get everything over with.
“Hey Mark,” Addison’s voice was soft as she stepped into the elevator and the doors slid shut behind her. “Do you have some time later? We need too… um, talk. We should go get a drink… are you busy after work?”
It was time to let Addison go.
He glanced at her and then looked down to the ground, closing his eyes briefly as he did so. “You don’t want to have a drink with me,” he said, shaking his head slightly. “I’m not what you’re looking for.”
“What are you talking about?”
Mark avoided her gaze. “I slept with someone. Couldn’t hold out. Once a man-whore, always a man whore, right?”
The doors to the elevator opened again and he realized it was his stop. Without turning to look at her, he slowly stepped off. “Be happy, Addison,” he said softly as the doors slid shut behind him.
Mark’s day didn’t improve after his encounter with Addison that morning. He kept himself busy enough but it seemed as though with each patient he saw, the more his mood worsened. It didn’t help matters that one of his patients was being extremely difficult and continued to harass him with complaints that her breast implants were too small. He had to endure twenty minutes with her before O’Malley had finally returned with his blueberry scone and cappuccino and he passed his patient off onto the young intern.
It seemed one small disaster after another and Mark was ready to blow. He hadn’t meant to, but he had snapped at more people than he usually did that day, taking out his anger on those who didn’t deserve it. His quest to become the Chief of Surgery wasn’t going well and if he was really honest with himself, he didn’t really want it too badly anyway. And if he was really truly honest with himself, the only reason he had gone after the position was because it gave him an excuse to stay in Seattle where he could be close to Addison and Derek.
Now he had no more excuses.
He was extremely relieved when it was time for him to take a break. He didn’t know if he could take another minute being around happy and cheerful people, when he himself felt so alone. He quickly made his way to the cafeteria and bought his lunch before walking back out with the same fast pace. He felt all eyes on him as he walked and resisted the urge to yell… throw… scream. More than anything he just wanted to tell everyone to leave him alone, to mind their own business and let him wallow in his own misery.
He couldn’t even wallow in his own misery in peace without people gossiping about him. Wonderful.
Mark kept a non-expressive look on his face as he walked out. He had to look calm and collected as there was no way in hell that he would let anyone see him in an emotional state. He had to keep his cool or everyone would know just how affected he truly was by the (now non-existent) situation with Addison.
He made his way outside and walked up the beaten path towards the abandoned garden observatory. Seeing as there was no flowers or plants in the observatory, Mark figured that it would be the perfect to be alone – to get away from everyone. Surely no one wanted to see a bare garden void of its plant life. Some of his anger faded with every step he took but it all came back at once as soon as he saw that someone was currently occupying the bench.
Mark inwardly groaned. Of all people, Dr. Stevens was the last person he wanted to see. She was a happy person, full of warmth and smiles – something he didn’t need at that very moment. She was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bench, finishing up what was left of her sandwich and her hand reached for the bag of cookies that she had lying at her side. He moved forward and opened his mouth, ready to tell her that she had to leave so he could eat in peace.
She looked up as he approached and before he could even say a word, their eyes connected and he stopped short.
It felt as though he was looking into a mirror. He could read all the emotions that were currently swimming around in Izzie’s eyes. He could read them because it was all the emotions that he, himself, had felt for the last two days… the last few weeks even. It was what he saw everyday in the mirror at his hotel. And he could tell by the expression on Stevens’ face that she could read the same emotions in his eyes too.
Anger. Resentment. Sadness. Lonely. Isolated. Frustration. The list went on and on.
What was most surprising of all though was that Stevens had a look of understanding as well. She didn’t know anything about his situation nor did he know anything about hers but… it was there. Looking at her, Mark suddenly knew that he did understand what she was feeling and he instantly felt comforted that there was at least one person working at this hospital that was just as miserable as he was. Misery did love company after all, and it looked as though he had found some company.
Izzie uncrossed her legs and shifted over a bit, nodding at the now empty space beside her. He took that as an invitation to join her and flashed a brief smile before moving forward and sitting down next to her. He opened his lunch and began to eat and the next fifteen minutes passed by peacefully. He finished his pasta and threw the empty containers back into the bag that had come with it. He picked up the apple and water bottle and for a moment he just sat there, enjoying the silence.
It was funny how just a mere half hour ago he was angrier than he had ever thought possible and now he actually was calm and collected. All because of a shared glance between two people that have yet to exchange a conversation. Life was funny that way, he supposed.
It was comforting, he found, to have someone to sit in silence with and he was especially surprised when Izzie’s bag of cookies was suddenly in his line of vision. He looked over at her and raised an eyebrow, to which she responded with a shrug and gestured her bag of cookies to him once more. He looked at the bag for a few moments before setting his water bottle down and then reached for one of the cookies. With his other hand, he offered her his apple to which she grinned as she reached for it and promptly took a bite of the fruit. It felt as though he was in kindergarten again sharing and exchanging snacks with a potential friend.
And as he took a bite of his cookie (it was delicious! Probably the best cookie he ever had...), Mark realized that Izzie Stevens might just be a potential friend.
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