The story is
dedicated to my friend Jesse, who asked me to write this small piece. Jesse,
I’m sorry for everything you went through, and I’ll be there to listen whenever
you need me! Hun, when you come up this weekend, I promise we’ll splurge on
chocolate ice cream and pizza and complain about men and relationships in
general!
Disclaimer: I
don’t own any of the characters affiliated with SPD. This story is written for
entertainment purposes only.
Summary: The
man she loves is in love with someone else. And it hurts but she learns to live
with the pain.
-x-x-x-
Z’s P.O.V.
I sit here and
watch as you happily interact with her across the room. She says something to
you, and you laugh. For a moment, in that one very small moment, it’s almost as
if nothing around you exists and there’s only me and you. You’re beautiful when
you laugh, there’s just no other word to describe it. But as quickly as that
image comes, it’s shattered, as you say something back and her laughter rings
throughout the room. You pull her into your arms and she responds with a kiss
–to which you happily receive.
How did things
become like this? You hated me, and in return, I hated you. To put it mildly,
you were a complete jerk. You resented me for taking on a position you thought
I didn’t deserve. And I resented you for your attitude against me and going out
of your way to make life at SPD miserable for me and Jack. But slowly, we got
to know one another. As your differences with Jack were resolved, so were your
differences with me and I began to see what kind of man you really were.
You were cold
towards me in the beginning, but slowly you changed. It was like ice melting to
form water and eventually the water evaporated into thin air. You were
egotistical, rude, and irritating to the boot. You were so annoying that at
times I had to restrain myself from beating you up with a baseball bat. I did
my best to ignore you, but sometimes, your words did hurt me and I only cried
when I was absolutely sure that no one would be around to hear. I wanted to
prove you wrong. I felt I had to prove you wrong. To show you that I was
able to take on the responsibilities that were
entrusted to me. I didn’t want to waste my second chance.
It’s funny how
things turn out, huh? I wanted to be a part of something bigger and Cruger gave
me that opportunity. I never imagined being placed on B-squad as your teammate
and I certainly had never imagined falling in love with you. You were the last
person I ever thought I’d fall in love with.
Did you know
your eyes get all wide when you’re irritated or annoyed? Your face takes on a
stony expression and no one can read you. Sometimes it hurts me because I want
to be the one to break through your hard exterior, but you never let anyone
through. Instead, you push everyone away, snapping at anyone who tries to get
you out of your shell. Believe me, I’ve tried to get close to you, tried to
show you that I cared, but I’ve never managed to even crack a smile out of you.
I don’t think
I’ll ever forget the first day you were truly nice to me. It was the day after
a particularly hard battle. I had escaped with only minor injuries and I was
still able to go and do things normally. Imagine my surprise when I learned
that you had taken over my duties so that I could get some rest. You looked at
me and I could’ve sworn that your icy stare had softened when you ordered me
back to bed. Needless to say, I went back to bed but I didn’t get any rest.
Your actions had me so puzzled that I couldn’t get to sleep.
After that, I
began noticing a lot of little things about you. And I began to respect you.
Maybe more than I thought I ever would. You preach about following regulations,
but yet, you break the rules when it really counts. At first that annoyed me.
You went on and on and on about following the rules but then you make yourself
look like a hypocrite by breaking them? What a fine example. But little
by little, I realized that it was your way of trying to keep us safe. It was a
strange way, but it was your way, nonetheless.
It tugs at my
heartstrings seeing how you interact with Bridge. No one would’ve ever guessed,
but you treat Bridge like the little brother you’ve never had. You have a soft
spot for Bridge. To everyone outside the B-squad, they only see you two as
roommates. But to the rest of us, the both of you are much more. You roll your
eyes whenever Bridge starts to embark on another one of his adventurous tales
but we see that deep down inside you are clearly enjoying his stories. Most of
the time it’s hard to read you, but sometimes, when you’re around Bridge,
you’re easier to read. Your eyes always crinkle with amusement whenever you
find Bridge’s stories funny. Other times your eyes show that you’re exasperated
at his ramblings. Bridge is one of the two people you truly trust.
Syd is the other
person you truly trust without question. Always cheerful and smiling, you have
an even bigger soft spot for her. She, of all people, knows you better than
everyone at
I always
notice.
Sometimes I
think its unfair how things in life turn out. I never asked to fall in love
with you. I didn’t even ask to be your friend. But things like this happen and
there’s nothing I can do to stop it. You turn to her for comfort, surrendering
your heart to her in the process. She in turn, greets you with a sympathetic
smile and opens her arms. You fall into her embrace without a second thought
and when you pull back a minute later, the look of burden on your face is gone
and in place is a look of gratefulness and there’s a soft smile on your lips.
Because of
her, you opened up to the rest of us, showing us that you are in fact, human.
You now laugh and joke around, even at times tease us in a way we never thought
possible. When you’re concerned about someone’s well-being, you speak up and
encourage them to rest, taking on their responsibilities so that they could do
so. You’re so determined, stubborn and loyal and those are some of the many
qualities that I love about you.
Those are some
of the many qualities that Syd loves about you too.
I’ve seen the
way you look at her and how she looks at you. The two of you have a bond, that
no one can hope to break and a deep understanding of each other, that no one
else can come close too –not even Bridge and he’s known the two of you for
years. Whenever she speaks, it’s all you can do to listen and you give her your
complete attention. She’s says something cute and you laugh and respond with a
witty remark. She smiles at you and your whole face just lights up. You told me
once, during one of the very few meaningful conversations that we’ve had, that
you love her and that she’s the one for you. As much as it hurts, I accept the
truth for what it is, because I could never offer you what Syd has to offer. I
could never make you feel the way Syd makes you feel. I could never make you as
happy. As much as I want to hate her, I can’t. Syd is wonderful. I can’t
hate someone who has been such a good friend to me. So I keep my feelings for
you to myself. I refuse to get in the way of something so special, and instead,
I just sit back and watch and try to convince myself that I can get over you.
She deserves to be happy and you make her happy.
That’s one of
the two reasons that I refuse to make a move on you. The
other reason?
She makes you
happy too.
-x-x-x-